There are two things I have worked at most of my adult life.  One is my marriage and the other is saving for retirement.  I value my marriage over my money but for years, I knew more about how to invest wisely than I knew about how to stay married.  In fact, I didn’t think too much about how to stay married at all.  I loved my husband.  He was my best friend.  What could go wrong?

Turns out…a lot can go wrong.  I almost lost my marriage.  It shouldn’t have been a surprise considering that half of us get divorced.  You actually have only a slightly higher chance of staying married than you do at winning roulette.  Now that’s a sobering reality! But it was a surprise and it would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

It is no the wonder the divorce statistics are so high.  We require our teenagers to take courses teaching them to drive before we give them a driver’s license but we give marriage licenses without anything more than a blood test. Before I invested my retirement money, I researched how to balance a portfolio and the tax breaks for 401K’s.  I had confidence in my retirement plan just like I had confidence in my marriage.  The difference was, I managed my money on a regular basis and I left my marriage to fend for itself.  Don’t make my mistake and put more effort into other things than you put into your marriage.  Otherwise your marriage is vulnerable to the odds and just like roulette…the odds are not in your favor.  But your marriage doesn’t have to be a victim of statistics.  Here is how to improve your odds.

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Every month, my husband and I deposit contributions into our 401K.  We’ve done it for years…as long as I can remember.  We even made contributions in the years when money was really tight because we knew the payoff would be worth the sacrifice.  Just like making a regular contribution grows your retirement savings, you will improve your odds of staying happily married if you become very intentional in spending time and connecting with your spouse.  Being intentional requires sacrifice.  I recommend a date night every week.  It sounds like a lot of time and hassle but think about how much time you spend watching tv, reading or being on your computer.  If you set your DVR to record a favorite show, you are being intentional in making sure you get to enjoy it.  Use that same fervor to make sure you have a weekly date night with your spouse.  Put it on the calendar the same night every week.  If you have young children, work out a situation with a sitter so they know to come every week.  You only have to contact them to cancel or re-schedule.  That little bit of effort will guarantee you follow through.  It’s like our automatic deposit into the 401K.  It just happens!

In the world of retirement savings, time is your most precious asset.  Invest early and often and your money will grow exponentially because of compound interest.  Very little contribution can reap huge payoffs.  The same is true in relationships. There are some simple techniques we can teach you that will help you stay connected, by frequently investing small amounts of time. Small regular contributions to your marriage can have huge payoffs. It is that powerful.

You don’t have to be a victim of the statistics. Remember to be intentional about investing in your marriage and “may the odds be ever in your favor”.      Sorry.  I couldn’t resist! 😉