6 Questions to Evaluate & Grow Your Relationship This Year

If you’re anything like me at the beginning of a new year, we often consider things that we’d like to do better or differently in the coming year.  We may contemplate taking better care of our bodies, working out, altering food intake, traveling more or less, and cutting back on social media or alcohol consumption. All of these are great things to consider, and I’d like to also invite you to consider that the new year is a perfect time to invest in your relationship with your spouse. 

I’ve come up with 6 questions to help you evaluate the condition of that most important relationship and give you some direction on where it needs improvement. 

1. What would you like to see changed, grow or improve in your most important relationship this year?
2. On a scale from one to 10, what is the level of connection?
3. Is your spouse feeling seen, safe and heard in the relationship? 
4. Are you feeling safe, seen and heard? 
5. What phase would you say your relationship is in right now as far as intimacy, conflict, or withdrawal? If in conflict, is it healthy conflict where you’re learning and growing together, or destructive conflict where no one wins and someone is left hurting without repair?
6. Have you and your most important person learned how to have healthy conflict in order to grow together? 

Consider scheduling a time to sit down with your spouse to evaluate what each of you felt went right this past year and what could be changed or improved in this coming year. 

Now, some of you are probably thinking you don’t know how to start a conversation like this without getting triggered or it escalating into a fight. That’s not uncommon and if that’s you – no matter what relationship stage you find yourself in – we can help you. Whether you’re just dating, a newlywed or married for 35 years, there is always room to grow and learn how to better emotionally connect. We have tools to help you break out of any negative cycles that block growth and destroy connection, and tools to help you better connect with yourself and the one you love the most. 

When you are making those resolutions, make a decision to invest in your relationship this year. It will be time well spent!

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