Is Trauma Affecting Your Relationship?

August 03, 2022

One of my favorite areas to work in is trauma. The second is couples. I know most of us have probably heard the song by Rascal Flatts, “Bless the Broken Road”. It describes how other relationships have led to the one that they are in now. It is a sweet song and in so many respects, true.

Attachment Wounds

Every day I hear clients say that they do not believe that whatever traumatic event happened in the past is affecting their relationships today. They say ‘I’m over it. I dealt with it.’ However, so much trauma happens within a relationship. It leaves imprints on our hearts, like a finger pressed into clay. We call those attachment wounds. While trauma is no longer happening, we learn how to be in relationships through experience.

How we experience our parents and our grandparents and other primary caregivers taught us about what it feels like to be comforted. Or not. To be cherished or ignored. To be wanted or to feel unwanted. Past romantic relationships teach us what we’re looking for or trying to avoid in future relationships. How can trauma not affect the relationships we’re in today?

Freedom Through Resolved Trauma

We can only learn what we’re taught.

I love to see individuals resolve their trauma in ways that provide so much freedom. Part of that freedom means that we can allow ourselves the freedom to get what we need and want from a healthy relationship. If you find your relationships follow a familiar, yet painful pattern, try taking a look at any unresolved trauma that might be in your past.

Want help in finding freedom from your past? We can help and it starts with a quick phone call or a free 15-minute Discovery Call.