Overcome your fear of Marriage Counseling
July 26, 2022
A haunted hotel room & fear
I’m currently on the eighth floor of a historic DC hotel. I’m actually standing outside of room 870. It’s rumored that this room in this hotel is haunted. Now I don’t know about you, if you believe in ghost stories or not, I’m not super into ghost stories, but it got me thinking about fear and I had to come up here and see it.
But this door on the eighth floor is no different than any other door in the hotel. It’s just like any other hallway.
Fear of re-experiencing trauma
But I think we do the same thing sometimes with counseling. Clients will tell me I don’t wanna work on my trauma because I don’t wanna think about it. And I get it. Nobody wants to go back to the worst moment of their life and relive it.
But what I wanna say is that it’s not actually a choice between re-experiencing or not. Re-experiencing our trauma. Every time we have a nightmare, every time you have a flashback, every time the memory gets triggered, you are re-experiencing it. So why not re-experience it in a way that brings relief.
It might be scary to come up to room 870. But what you might find is it’s just another room, like any other room. And the reality is that remembering it can never be as bad as when it actually happened.
It’s just a door – we can help!
If you know there’s something you need to work on – an image, a situation, an event that’s still affecting your life and probably affecting your marriage too, don’t delay. Because it’s really just room 870. It’s just a door and we can help you walk through it.
How healthy is your marriage?
ready to have a conversation?
You may also like:
The silent treatment is a pretty common response I see in couples therapy. It happens when you are so angry, disappointed, let down, and you don’t feel like you have any other way to let your partner know just how upset you really are.
A lot of the therapy work I do is helping couples and partners understand what their contributions to the relationship are, and how they can start making changes for the better, specifically with communication. Specifically, when communicating with your spouse, it’s important to make sure that you are not part of the problem, but part of the solution.
I bet many of you have already seen the recent Brene’ Brown video making the rounds where she calls out the myth of marriage being a 50/50 partnership.