HOW TO HAVE A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION WITHOUT FIGHTINGDecember 2, 2013
- Keep it simple. State the issue calmly and briefly. Going on and on about it will annoy your partner.
- Don’t be critical. You can state the situation and how you feel about it without attacking someone’s personality or character.
- Keep it positive. Instead of saying you don’t want your mother-in-law to come at all, you are offering a compromise that focuses on something positive…that you want to enjoy the visit more as well.
- Describe, don’t judge. Instead of accusing or blaming, simply describe what you see happening. Your observation is that you and your mother-in-law don’t always get along. You aren’t blaming anyone. You are stating the problem without judgment.
- Talk clearly about what you need. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Be direct and say what you need. Compromise is your friend!
- Be polite. Politeness goes a long way in a relationship. And, it’s catching. Please and thank you are powerful words.Go ahead…give it a shot. Try utilizing “soft start-up” this week with your spouse and see if this changes the tone of your conversations. If you and your partner are stuck and fighting over the same issues, call us at Power of Two Counseling. We can help you navigate through the conflict so everyone wins!
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Can you laugh at yourself? I mean really laugh at yourself when you make a mistake or do or say something silly? What about when your spouse or friends tease you in a good-natured way? Are you able to laugh then?
When it comes to marriage, free speech is essential. You should be able to be honest with your spouse, to express your opinions without constantly filtering them. That freedom allows us to really connect with one another. It’s part of the trust that we need to feel safe and secure in our relationships.
Most of us are spending more time than ever with our kids and spouses and tensions are rising. As therapists and coaches, we are seeing your struggles. We are also dealing with the same stressors in our own homes. The people we live with are getting on our nerves and we don’t always handle it the way we should. Many of us are apologizing almost daily for the things we’ve said or the ways in which we’ve said them.