Marriage Counseling didn’t work. So now what?
May 9, 2018
Did you know a couple waits an average of 6 years between the time they are first unhappy in the relationship to when they finally reach out for help? SIX YEARS! That’s a lot of time for resentment and unhealthy patterns to build.
And when a couple finally does reach out, knowing who to go to for help can, quite frankly, be a confusing guessing game.
It’s not unusual for clients to come see me after having already been to one, two, or even three or more other counselors first. They are typically very frustrated and have often lost all but that last shred of hope their marriage can be saved. I usually hear something along the lines of “Marriage counseling hasn’t worked for us. How can you help us?”
The Marriage Intensive
Couples that find themselves in this situation want – and need – a different approach. They need a game changer. Marriage Intensive can be that game changer.
While traditional therapy is appropriate for many couples, sometimes an hour every week or two just isn’t enough. Work, family, kids, and LIFE get in the way and derail a couple’s honest attempts to gain the traction they need to truly get to the root of their issues and rediscover hope for their relationship.
What it is. And Isn’t.
Depending on where you go or who you talk to, a Marriage Intensive (also known as a Couples Intensive) could be anything from a group workshop, to a weekend retreat or boot camp, to something just short of a mini- vacation, interspersed with spa treatments and fancy dinners.
If I’m being honest, none of those fit what I do. At The Marriage Place, a Marriage Intensive is entirely focused – and I mean laser-focused – on the marriage. YOUR marriage.
They are done in my office and include just 3 people – the two of you and me. Together, we spend the better part of a day, or two days, transforming your relationship. That’s it. No fancy dinners and no spa treatments. Truthfully, there isn’t time for that stuff.
What you can expect from an Intensive
I call them “Intensives” for a reason. The condensed, accelerated format strips away the starts and stops necessitated by traditionally-structured therapy, making them particularly effective in helping couples make significant progress that otherwise would take months to achieve.
Now not every couple comes to an Intensive with the same goals or needs in mind. But for couples that feel “stuck”, or who are on the brink of divorce, or have been frustrated by prior attempts at therapy, a Marriage Intensive can be a smart choice and wise investment in your relationship.
Each Intensive I do is a unique, personalized, custom experience for the couple with whom I’m working. And from the Intensive, the couple can expect:
- Increased clarity on what has happened in the marriage and how you each contributed to where you are now
- Creative solutions to problems that have kept you stuck in repeating patterns of conflict
- Perspective and understanding of what you each want and need in the future
- And for many couples, a renewed optimism and a roadmap to a more fulfilling relationship
As I mentioned before, couples often wait years before seeking help, so it should be no surprise when I say an Intensive is not a 1 or 2-day marriage “fix”. I don’t believe those even exist.
I do however believe a Marriage Intensive is the best way to quickly gain the momentum necessary to put a rocky relationship on track such that more traditionally structured follow-up therapy can be effective. In fact, a follow-up plan and next steps are something that I discuss with each and every couple that completes an Intensive to ensure the substantial progress made in the Intensive becomes lasting change for the relationship.
If a Marriage Intensive sounds like just the thing your marriage needs, don’t wait any longer. Call my office and let’s get something scheduled soon.
Have questions or want to know more?
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KIM BOWEN is a licensed professional counselor who offers relationship therapy through her company, The Marriage Place. Her blogs and newsletters have been featured in various publications and she is the author of the
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